Sissie is in love. She has been telling me her feeling openly and I felt so bad for keeping things from her. I almost wanna ask her to pray for me, to have this feeling removed. But, I am just another coward after all. I dare not tell her the truth. I dare not let her know what's going on at my end.
Watching the new tv series about 新謠, and I immediately think about him. I know he would like this new tv series. Watching Triumph in the skies II and thinking of him too. I am totally 無藥可救了！I miss him very much.
Today, I was taking bus 30 to HBF, it was a long journey. I got down from the bus as I thought I have arrived at my destination after more 1 hour of bus journey, then I walked for about 3 bus stop later, and realised that I alighted at the wrong bus stop after seeing the ARC building. I had another choice of taking trim from TB station, but I chose to went back to the nearest bus stop. A lot of memories there and I don't want to be reminded again. I avoided to take train and chose the longer journey from my house to HBF to avoid all the unnecessary memories come back to me, and yet, I alighted at the wrong bus stop and saw the building that we went together before.
We both know we can't continue this friendship. I know my feelings towards him. I bet he knew my feelings too, that's why he is avoiding me. I knew he doesn't like me the way I like him. I knew that he see me as a friend only. I knew how wrong it is but i don't know why the feeling kept growing.. Deeper and deeper... I am suffocating... I can't handle it anymore... Should I just let him know my feeling and let him end our friendship? I hardly wanna take the risk. But I think this is the only way stop me, by ending our friendship. I won't be able to see him using the name of friend.
Honestly, I don't want us to end this way, my heart is bleeding by thinking that we will end this way. But perhaps this is the only way. Lord, help me, help us.